A Beautiful Lie
by Katria Bloom
Summary: Harry never says anything, but Draco knows. Draco knows he lies awake in bed at night, thinking about his life. HD ANGSTY SLASH


_This was originally written for the AWDT weekly challenge over on LJ. the challenge was simply that the story had to be titled 'A Beautiful Lie'. Because I am a crazy 30 Seconds to Mars fan, I had to do it. Hence, the 500 word drabble became a 2,000ish word one-shot. _

Enjoy!

* * *

Harry never says anything, but Draco knows. Draco knows he lies awake in bed at night, thinking about his life. Draco will lie next to him, slowly breathing but still awake. Harry never makes a sound; he just lies there on his back, his fingers threaded and resting on his chest as he rhythmically breathes in and out. Draco will turn to him, eyes resting on his glassy face, and watch. Sometimes Harry cries, sometimes he doesn't. Draco touches him lightly, laying one hand over Harry's own. When he does his breath catches, just briefly. Harry never turns to look at him; instead he slides his eyes closed and pretends to sleep.

Draco always tries to wait him out, but always fails. When he wakes up in the morning Harry's gone, just like every morning, his side of the bed long cold. He wishes it could be different, for both of their sakes, but Harry never acknowledges the fact that he can't sleep and every day he looks a little worse. A little more broken.

* * *

"Draco do you ever…" Harry starts, his legs dangling from his perch on the bathroom counter as he watches Draco take a bath. Draco looks at him, a bit surprised, not having expected him to talk. Harry's head is bowed as he swings his feet, hitting the cabinet door at his heels with every swing. He seems to be trying to figure out how he wants to work his question. He finally takes a deep breath and finishes with, "Want to be different?"

Draco doesn't know what he means by that. "Different how?" he asks, not sure if he really wants to know.

Harry doesn't look up. "I…like…" Once again, Harry isn't sure how to word his thoughts. "Like…" he makes a vague hand moment before closing his eyes. "I just…sometimes I wonder if it would have been better to just let go of the truth. If I would have never gotten my Hogwarts letter, never even known about magic. I wouldn't have had to…" He runs out of steam at this point.

Draco watches him for a moment before sliding down into the warm water that surrounds him. By the time he surfaces, Harry's in bed, lying in the same position he always does. Draco pulls the drain, letting the water drain out and he sits in the bathtub until there is no water left.

* * *

Harry never lets Draco out of his sight. If Draco leaves a room, Harry is right behind him. If they've gone too long without touching sometimes Harry will simply press a hand into Draco's side, as if he still has to make sure that Draco's real every once and a while. Draco doesn't even begin to question why.

It isn't until Harry takes Draco's hand and goes room to room, closing the blinds and pulling the curtains closed that Draco realizes what he's doing. "Nothing else," Harry whispers fiercely as he goes from the sitting room to the kitchen. "Nothing else but me and you." It's just a game, but he lets Harry play. Lets Harry win.

After that, Harry never leaves the house, not for anything. He gets letters from his friends and sometimes they come to visit, but he doesn't care. Draco tells him over and over that they worry, that he should write them, but Harry simply shakes his head, burning the letters with dull eyes. "There is nothing else," he repeats. "Nothing else exists." Draco sighs rising and making his way to the window. Before Draco can touch the heavy curtain Harry is behind him, snatching up his wrist and twisting it behind his back. Draco draws in a sharp breath and squeezes his eyes shut. "Nothing else," Harry hisses in his ear, and it's all Draco can do to nod.

Harry releases him and Draco lets his arm fall to his side. "Harry, this isn't…" he starts, but Harry gathers him in his arms, holding Draco to his chest before resting his cheek in his hair.

"This is perfect," Harry says. "Perfect." Draco wonders how denial can be perfect.

* * *

Draco emerges from the bathroom, a towel draped around his narrow hips to find Harry sitting in the middle of the bed, holding his wand in front of him. Draco stops as Harry looks up at him, his eyes unusually bright.

"What are you doing?" Draco asks, feeling something akin to fear twist in his stomach.

"It's time," Harry whispers, grasping his wand tighter as he leans over the side of the bed and comes back up with a Pensieve. He lays it down in front of him almost reverently before looking back at Draco. "Time to forget about the past. Time to wash away what happened last and mix our memories together so that they aren't yours and mine anymore, but _ours_."

Draco looks at Harry for a long moment before shaking his head. "No."

Draco watches as Harry slowly looks up, his jaw tight. "We have to, Draco."

He sighs as he lets the towel fall, pulling on a pair of sleep trousers. "I'm not…no. No Harry."

Harry's fist tightens around his hand as he climbed off the bed. "I have to do this," he whispers, his voice dark. "We both have to. It's…it's the only way it can be just…just us. Please."

"No," Draco says as he spreads out the towel. "I don't want to forget."

He feels Harry's arms wrap around him, pulling him up against his body so tightly that his breath was forced out of his lungs. "Please," Harry sobs against his neck. "Please, Draco…I need you. I need you here because I'll…" Draco can feel the tears running down his shoulder, "You have to be here. You have to be mine."

"I don't have to do anything," Draco whispers. Harry lifts his head from Draco's shoulder and tightens his grip.

"You do," Harry replies as he steers Draco over to the bed, pressing him into the mattress. Draco can feel Harry's erection against his thigh and he lets out a shaky breath. "You do," Harry says again. "Because I'll fucking die without you."

With a quick tug Harry divests Draco of his trousers, flipping him onto his stomach and wrapping a hand around his waist to pull his arse tight against his groin. Shaking, Draco raises himself up on his hands and knees as he feels Harry hastily prepare him with his wand before tossing it aside. Draco watches it roll under the wardrobe.

Harry presses into him with one harsh stroke. Draco lets out a little scream and he feels Harry slide his hands over his sharp hipbones before nearly pulling out and slamming into him again. Draco can feel his own cock hardening and he lowers himself down on his elbows, pressing his forehead into the bed as he pants the first syllable of Harry's name because that's as far as he can think.

The pressure builds at the base of his spine as their coupling escalates. He feels Harry's hand wrap around his cock, moving with his quick strokes, and suddenly he's coming, sobbing out his release. Harry continues to stroke his over-sensitized cock as he rides Draco. He tries to push his hand away but Harry only catches it, clasping tightly. Draco presses their clasped hands together on his stomach and Harry is suddenly filling him with his warm seed.

He hears him whisper 'So beautiful' before he slid out, leaving Draco feeling emptier than he had before.

* * *

Next morning Draco wakes up naked and alone in bed, but he knows Harry is nearby. He quickly slides out from under the duvet, kneeling down in front of the wardrobe and fishes out Harry's wand. Quickly, he snaps it in two, returning the two pieces to the hiding place under the wardrobe.

Draco stands just as Harry emerges from the bathroom with an empty face. He catches Draco's eye for a moment and Draco brushes past him, pushing the door closed in Harry's face and locking it.

He lets out the breath he had been holding for _two years_ and smiles.

* * *

Harry stopped looking at him. It was a gradual thing, like he had simply forgotten why it was that he stared all the time. Draco used this time to find a suitcase, hide it under the bed, and gradually begin to fill it.

He slid it back under the bed, zipped and full after a week of packing, and stood to find Harry staring at him coldly. "My wand," he hissed, and Draco took a step back. "You did it, didn't you?"

"Did wha…?" Draco started, but was cut off by Harry squeezing his cheeks together tightly.

"Oh fuck you Draco, you know what I mean," Harry snarled. "Just like I know what you've been planning to do."

"Harry," Draco pleaded, but Harry only squeezed harder.

Harry pushed Draco's face away and bent down to retrieve Draco's suitcase. He tore it open and dumped out the contents. "You can't leave," he all-but screamed. "You can't leave because there is nothing else! Don't you understand that?"

Draco laid his forehead in his hands. "Harry, this is ridiculous! This isn't normal! There is a world out there that exists, that is more real than this…whatever this is…that you've created here. We can't…I can't do this anymore."

"Yes you can," Harry replied as he retrieved his Pensieve. "You can! We put everything in here…everything but the memories we have made here, and then we…we can break it and we never have to…never have to face the world or have anyone look at us ever again."

Draco closes his eyes. "Harry, we can't just…"

"Please Draco," Harry hissed and Draco thinks, just for a split second, that it would be so much easier to just say yes.

So he does.

He opens his eyes to see Harry smiling in a way that he hasn't seen in years. Draco gets his wand from the place he keeps it and steps closer to Harry, who looks so happy he's about to cry.

He holds out his hands for the Pensieve and Harry hands it over to him willingly as a tear escaped his eye. Draco watches it run its course for a moment before looking back up into Harry's gaze. He watches the happiness drain out of Harry the second before he throws the Pensieve against the wall, hearing it shatter.

Harry starts at him, his face twisted in anguish, but he pulls his wand and buries it in his throat. Harry stops, but very shortly collapses to the floor, his sobs and wails more like an animal than human. Draco wraps an arm around him before Apparating.

* * *

Harry never lets Draco out of his sight. It's harder now, he has to really search to find him, but he always does. He sits in the middle of his bed, with its too rough sheets and thin blanket, and talks to Draco. He always stands in the same place; in the corner farthest away from the dull blue door with the small window for observing. Harry's tried to cover it over and over, but they simply tell him that he can't do it and pull the dried clumps of toilet tissue he's stuck there off.

They let him leave the curtains drawn the small window by his bed which is good, because Draco wouldn't come otherwise.

Harry stays awake at night, staring into the corner and waits for Draco. It takes a while sometimes, but then he comes and Harry smiles and talks to him. He sees them peer into his window sometimes with disapproving eyes but every time he does Draco disappears and he cries.

It's only then that he starts back over, wishing for Draco. Hoping for Draco. Then he comes back, smiling at Harry and Harry talks to him. Draco never replies, but he doesn't have to. Harry knows that Draco loves him. He wouldn't be here if he didn't.

* * *

Draco never quite makes it to Harry's room. He always stops right before the door marked with a fading '7'. Stops when he hears Harry's voice.

"…Sometimes Draco," he hears him say and it takes all Draco has not to cry as he sinks to the floor beside the door and lays his head in his hands. "Sometimes it's hard for me to…to be here. Sometimes I can't find you and my heart tries to leap out of my chest and it's hard to hold on too 'cause it's slippery. But then you come back, and you smile at me…yeah, like that…and…and everything is better."

Draco sobs and stays sitting against the wall until a nurse comes to fetch him with visiting hours are over.

* * *

_Reviews are love! _


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